Friendship

I've been giving a lot of thought to what true friendship really means.  I went to Webster for a little help.  Some of the synonyms are: amity, benevolence, brotherhood, charity, cordiality, cordialness, fellowship, friendliness, goodwill, kindliness, neighborliness. The antonyms are: ill will, malevolence and venom.

It has been a bit shocking to this extrovert to realize while people in my life aren't neccessarily full of venom and malevolence they are certainly lacking in fellowship, friendliness, goodwill, cordiality and neighborliness.  So many people I thought were my friends are in actuality acquaintances.  Nothing more, nothing less.  So I am taking a hard look at who my true friends are and what kind of friend I am. 

I remember hearing Dr. Laura say on her radio show to some poor woman whining about her lack of friends, that she needed to focus on being a friend first.  What do you do when you are a friend but people do not return the cordiality, goodwill or fellowship? Now I know there is only so much energy and time to apportion out to various relationships in everyone's life, but what do you do when it's so often thrown back in your face?  I have to admit I'm tired of being a "B string" friend. 

I heard Darren Hardy, the editor of "Success" magazine speak recently.  He said of all the people who would consider going to your funeral, 50% would decide based on weather.  Of all the people who did come, only 6 would weep.  Mr. Hardy said in dealing with rejection or disappointment, he would allow himself a few minutes to sulk and then if they were not one of the 6, it didn't really matter and he would move on. 

In a heartbeat I can tell you who those six people are for me.   

Another part of the definition was, "a kindness or help given to someone".  In a time when kindness and help would mean so much to me, it is few and far between.  Why is kindness and help so scarce?  True friendship is a rare commodity indeed. Now the optimistic part of me starts singing somewhere inside, "you've got to ac-cen-tu-ate the positive, e-lim-inate the negative, hold on to the affirmitive, don't mess with Mr. Inbetween."  When you think of it, that's pretty sound advice.

At the end of the day, I resolve to embrace and be thankful for the many blessings God has given me, let go of the negative, forgive (it only hurts me!), accept people for who they are-not what I wish they were and leave mediocrity behind.  I know if I focus on those things I'll be a better friend and know who my true friends are.

I look forward to finding out and perhaps being surprised in the process.